35 weeks.
25th day of bed rest.
I haven't wanted to post about all of this because to be honest...it's been quite an emotional roller coaster. First, I'm on bed rest because during my pregnancies...my blood pressure hates me : ). I had preeclampsia with our last daughter at 37 weeks, but she was born healthy with no problems. This time I had my first high reading at 18 weeks. Way too early and very scary since if meds don't control it...there is little they can do besides deliver the baby. Thankfully and Praise to Jesus we made it to 3.5 weeks without another incident. The medicine they put me on had everything under control until that day at my doc appt. I was admitted to the hospital that day and was so concerned we'd have to deliever. Well, 25 days of bed rest, mega increased meds, 2 hospital visits, a few hours on magnesium later and we've made it 3.5 more weeks. I'm 35 weeks. All glory to God. Even if I have to have him tomorrow....he is in a much better place than those 3.5 weeks ago. We are all hoping to at least make it to 37 weeks.
The hardest part of this has to be the fact I have no control over making this issue better. A lot of health problems, you can do things that produces positive results. What I've learned over the past several weeks is that there is no rhyme or reason what makes my blood pressure raise. I do the same thing all day everyday....rest. Lay down, sleep, lay back in a recliner, sometimes I lay on a couch. The most I'm up is to visit the bathroom, take a shower and maybe 10- 15 min. more a day of just random things. It's been hard to not complain because there have been days where I've been really down. I've missed a lot with my other children and just normal life events I normally look forward too. My 18 mo. old grabs my pants or hand to pull me up saying "Get up, Mama!" And oh, how I long to do just that. Get up and run around outside with them. I feel so useless. I've never wanted to do laundry, make dinner or clean so badly. I can't stand putting soo much pressure on my husband and our families. They've all taken on every job I normally do. It's hard to let them and not want to step in. I'm a very social person, and I miss people! I miss conversations and getting out. I've dreamed several times about just getting up, getting dressed to head to Hobby Lobby or Target to pick up some random item I've wanted. I hate watching my kids worry about me, see their lives turned upside down and just every little moment to be determined by if I'm in the hospital that week or not. But I just felt to guilty to complain. If all I could do to keep my baby healthy was relax, then what right did I have to whine about it. The first few weeks, I lived in fear. Worried every little thing I did would put my BP over the edge and make me have him early. Through prayer and thankfully as the weeks have made birth a little less scary, I'm not plagued by fear. I do want him to stay as long as possible though, but I'm just trusting better in God's timing for when that is supposed to be.
Just to paint the other side of this trying time for our family...bed rest does have it's benefits.
I never felt this good near the end of my last pregnancy. I feel amazing.
I'm forced to sit with my kids. There are no distractions when they want to play in bed beside me, ask me to read to them or when Leland sits with me in bed to work on homework.
I sleep a lot. I don't really want to, it just happens. But I figure, I won't get a chance to do this again for many years. : )
I've had some amazing quality time with my parents and family. We live 30 min. from them, but as we are staying here during the week so they can help...we're getting a lot of great time with them. I love love love seeing my Moma and Daddy with my kiddos. Then there is the nap times and night time that I get to just be around them...talking, enjoying meals together and making lots of memories. I'm so thankful for them and this sacrifice they give over daily to help us.
Be reminded of how strong my husband is. I'm so grateful I have him to rely on. He's taken on a lot and is doing a great job. I know he's tired and sometimes overwhelmed, but he should feel so proud of how he's handled the last month. I love him.
Not only my husband, parents..but our other family members, church family and friends have overwhelmed me with their love. I feel so supported and cared for. I'm thankful for all the help and prayers. We are so blessed.
The last positive note is that I've really got to spend time enjoying my littlest one while he still grows in my womb. He's such an active little guy...it's really hard to forget about him. Always moving, kicking and reminding me he's right here with me. I pray over him often, talk to him and the kids are constantly kissing him. Evy probably the most...she talks to him all day long. It's been such a rough pregnancy, I think it could be easy to just wish away the days and forget that this is a season God has given me. Something, a few years ago, I would have given my left arm for. A baby. Growing inside of me. So this bed rest has forced me to enjoy this time. To savor it. This will be our last pregnancy and it makes every little kick that more sweet.
To end this long (probably boring) post with a little excitement... here are a few pictures. My sweet sister took these at my parents. I was only up for 15 min....I promise. I hated to not document this season of our family and how God has blessed it to grow.
So please pray for 37 weeks....Operation Chubby Cheeks!!!
