Her Birth

Well, I did not think that I would already be writing this post.

I remember hoping maybe we'd go a few days or a week early. People would kindly remind me how first pregnancies never go early unless there are issues. And I had absolutely no issues my entire pregnancy. Everything was always exactly right on spot with measurements, blood pressure, tests and every other thing they watch through your pregnancy.

So I was shocked and in total denial when my doctor said the words,

" You are having this baby today." at my 37 week appointment.

That morning was crazy and I was actually more worried about my 2 year old daughter because she had woke up with a fever. We had all been sick and especially I could not get rid of strep throat. I was on my second round of amoxicillin and still feeling horrible. I had purposely been gearing up to talk to Dr. Dawson about how we could get me healthy because I just couldn't imagine going through labor feeling so horrible and weak. Little did I know.

My nurse weighed me and that I went potty for the urine sample. She checked my BP first and made a funny face. I asked if it was high and she said yes. She checked it again with the battery operated BP machine and said she needed to check it with the manual one. After taking it this way she yelled for Dr. Dawson who was in the hallway. At this point I was a little nervous.

Dr. Dawson explained that I had preeclampsia and it would be dangerous to let me leave before having the baby. I hadn't had one HIGH reading until this day. So she checked me and had someone wheel me over to the hospital. I was a little frozen by the surrealness of what was happening. But I managed to call Scott, my family and get Scott's mom to ask his sister to go get L from school.

When I got to the room, everyone was running around everywhere. They were still unsure if I'd have an emergency c section within the hour. I was just hoping for Scott to get there and/or at least my sister or Moma.

This is the only picture I took....my sweet husband excited he made it in time!

After my blood work came back and they realized my liver wasn't affected by my high BP, they stopped talking emergency c section. They started me on pitocin and Dr. Dawson came to break my water.

My contractions stayed 2-3 minutes apart and labor was progressing very slowly. After all day and through the night, I never progressed past 4 cm. dilated and 70% thinned out. So at 2 am they decided in a few hours, I would have a c section.

It was quick, painless and the most amazing moment that I'll never forget.

They let us lower the drapes just enough to see her being raised out of my womb. It was crazy.

She was of course a little purple, but she cried strong. I felt this instant bond when I saw her and couldn't believe our daughter was finally here.

They cleaned her up and let me see her.

As they were finishing my surgery, they let the baby stay with us as long as Scott was willing to do Kangaroo Care. He was all about it and did such a great job! So instead of leaving us to go to the nursery to be put under the incubator, she was able to be warmed up with Daddy right beside me!

These are a little out of order, but this is them checking her out.

Measuring her.

I look pretty rough here, but I love this picture because it was the first time I held my baby girl. In recovery I was allowed to do kangaroo care and nurse for the first time.

It was absolutely amazing!

Here she is through the nursery window being shown off by the nurse (who is a family friend).

Look at that face!

Here is BIG BRO and BIG SIS being super proud looking at their baby sister.

Because of fevers, they were only allowed to look through the window that first day.

The next day they came to hold her for the first time.

I was pretty out of it the rest of the day because my BP was still so high they put me on magnesium. This is a horrible drug that will make you crazy and feel like you are on fire! : )

My sweet husband was a BIG help and took care of our newest little blessing since I was so out of it. I apologize for anything crazy I said to our family and friends while visiting that first day. : ) I was not in my right mind.

Here are the first pictures I was able to take of my baby.

This was her second day and I had finally been released from bed rest.

They took me off magnesium, got rid of my cathetor, ate for the first time in 48 hours and I even got to take a shower.

I felt like a new woman!

I love this blanket her cousins Fynn and Iylee got her!

Sweet little face.

She has the tiniest feet I ever saw.

She did pretty good in the hospital learning to nurse and had a scream too big to match her little frame. The nurses teased how sassy she was! On her third day they realized she had jaundice so she had to stay most of the day and that evening (besides times to nurse) under the lights. I missed her so much. I would walk down to the nursery just get a glimpse of her through the window. Here she is in her tanning bed.

We hoped to go home Saturday as her jaundice was better, but no such luck for my BP was still too high. They switched my meds and we enjoyed the day relaxing together.

It was such a great hospital stay with the best staff helping us. If it wasn't for the fact that I missed my other two babies soo much, I would have gladly stayed a few more days. : )

I love how she sleeps. Always wanting to have her hands over her face unless she is swaddled.

Finally, Sunday we were released!

My BP was still pretty high but it was starting to show signs of going down. My doctor made me come see her just a few days after my release but I was soo thankful she let us go home!

Here we are getting ready to put her in the car for the first time.

We have been overwhelmed with the support and kindness from others this past week. From gifts, food, visits and everyone just celebrating with us...it's been such a blessing!

Here is Miss Liv in her coming home outfit. The very same outfit I wore home from the hospital. Isn't she too cute. I 0f course filled it out a little better because I was 9lbs and something.

Our sweet girl is home where she belongs with her big brother and sister.

We couldn't feel more blessed or grateful for such gifts from our Lord!

Introducing....

Livingston Ann

making her appearance

Wednesday, February 22nd

5:26 a.m.

6lbs. 7oz. and 19 in.

We are blessed, overjoyed and soo in love.

More later when life finds some sort of swing to it again.

Is "Living the life to the fullest" just easy words?

I'm sitting here under the fog of my humidifier, thinking of so many different things.

Thinking about signing up "L" for spring t-ball... not sure t-ball is ready for us. : ) Catching up on my favorite blogs and feeling that inspiration for creativity creeping up in my noggin. Hoping my husband won't move to the couch again tonight because my nose blowing, coughing, getting up every hour to pee and snoring are keeping him up. Going through the lists in my head about this week and the very few weeks left before littlest arrives. But mainly thinking about life in general.

How it's hard.

How it's even harder for others.

That it can take you on loops of hopelessness only to pick up momentum for some of the most exilerating moments you never imagined.

Reminding myself that life is not purposeless. It is not in vain. I will not pretend to be smart or a theologian, but I do know that every moment in this life matters.

It was made for many things: love, joy, refinement, sorrow but most importantly GLORY.

We are here to bring HIM glory.

We cannot do that by passively sitting certain hard chapters out or wishing frustrating seasons by. We also cannot bring Him glory pretending everything is hunky dory and not be real because it's the realness that shows just how AMAZING He is.

So I look over my recent month and here are a few moments I see...

>busy busy busy days of preparing our home/life for a third child

>quiet moments of sickness, but cuddling close on the couch with little ones

> i haven't mentioned this because it's not really my story to tell, but my awesome Daddy had some scary medical moments this last month. He is thankfully doing just fine, but dealing with some lifestyle adjustments.

> enjoying my newest niece *before we all got sick* and realizing just how amazing this new little person already is

> being so thankful for the seriously mild winter (i do love snow, but this big bellied mamma feels safer with no icy sidewalks)

> realizing my last photo shoot before maternity has made it's arrival because i cannot physically move like i need to for those perfect shots

>overwhelmed by love and support as family/friends continually bless us with gifts, prayers and help during this exciting season

>long nights of NO sleep and sore throats

>anxious as we are steps closer to adopting our first two babies but still miffed because it's such a slow process

>and most recently being blindsided once again by a local youth taking his own life. and this little (he was 14)one was a kid i knew. one that i saw for years, praying for his "up hill battle" kind of life. no words.

All of these moments are just mine. There are soo many others who have their own. Moments full of twists and turns that this life creates. Ones that are just too hard to wrap our brains around, some that make life simply sweet, mundane hours that make you want to pull your hair out and some that just seem to suck the very life out of you. But that is just it. I'm realizing, it's just life. One that we are to live to fullest.

Sometimes I hear someone say that, and I want to roll my eyes. Please stop telling me to enjoy my 2 year olds' fits because one day I'll miss them.....yeah, yeah, I know. But I guess that is what I'm learning. I'm not called to just grin and bear it. I'm called to live it. To be present, make the most of it, be truthful and over all bring Him into every part of it.

So here are two pictures to leave you smiling.

Their first official Daddy and Daughter Date! She was soo excited and wanted to dress up like a princess for her Daddy. They went to Orange Leaf and she had I'm sure way too much sweets! :)

Hmmm... now what is the likelyhood that I could get this cute Daddy to take me on a Daddy and Daughter date. I might even be willing to share with my sis. : )

Hoping I really live life this week and that you do too!

whoa....

In less than four weeks, we'll be bringing home our third child.

Our baby girl.

An infant.

Our first infant.

I'll be healing. breastfeeding. learning to be a mamma to three.

whoa.

That also means I only have four weeks to finish getting my life together! : )

We've been super sick around our house lately. About a month ago, after my shower (i can't believe that's been a month and that I haven't blogged about it's awesomeness yet) I started feeling sick. I have been off and on again feeling miserable. My OB has perscribed me two different antibiotics with little to no help. So today I went to the doc to get tested for flu or anything else that can explain it.

Ends up to be strep.

This will be the third time in this pregnancy since I've had it.

Before those times, I'm pretty sure I haven't had it since college.

Weird.

Anyways, beyond trying to rest and taking care of my littles that have been sick.....

we've been preparing for our newest little one.

We've been pulling out, washing and organizing all her clothes.

Trying to finish the girl's room. It's so close to being done. I can't wait to share pics.

Packing bags, having everything ready and planning schedules/childcare for when the big day arrives.

I have on noo makeup and a scraggly t shirt, but this is reality.

I'm already 1 centimeter dilated and 50% thinned.

WHOO HOO!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate laundry?

Seriously, hate it.

It's getting harder to carry down the dirty loads and bring up the folded laundry up and down the stairs.

Thanks to my Man for helping us catch up on the weekends and for my Moma for doing the rest of Liv's today!

On my good days I have tried out a few recipes from pinterest. I took more photos but somehow have misplaced them. Anyways, it's a GREAT place if your menu plans are getting a little more boring.

Please pray with us for everyone to get better so we can all be healthy for Livingston's arrival.

Thank you!

All of ME

I had a {blog}friend write a post about her son who had to have heart surgery just days after his birth and how she could relate to Matt Hammit's song All of Me. She is brilliant and I so wish we could be real life friends. : ) Here is her blog... The Stanley Clan. But personally, I feel like I can relate so much to this song too. My children do not have heart conditions like my friend or Matt Hammitt's son, but I can't hear the song without thinking of our first two children.

Most of you know we've had our kids for a year and a half through the foster system. We are still in the LONG process of adopting them and have continued to be disappointed by that hopeful date being pushed back. Everything (thank the Lord) is still looking hopeful for us to adopt, it's just taking longer than we first thought. Along the way I have been told such things as "You guys are so wonderful to do this. I couldn't do it." or asking us "How we can do this not knowing what the future holds?"

Well, all I do know is that it is only by the grace of God that we are on this journey. It isn't easy, I do worry and I'm not at all wonderful. But on the other hand I do know that God gave me these children just as He has given us Livingston through my pregnancy. Children are a gift and belong to the Lord no matter how they come to us. So I have to tell myself all the time that I cannot be sure of the future of any of my children...Livingston or our first two. I can trust the one who has given them to us and know that He loves them more than I could ever imagine loving them.

When you read through these lyrics you can see how it might be tempting to not let our hearts open fully to any of our children/family depending on different circumstances. But the truth is if we want the best for ourselves and our children, we have to give all of ourselves. I pray that no matter the future of any of my children, that they know they were loved by every part of my being.

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/matt-hammitt-lyrics/all-of-me-lyrics.html ]

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start

To the One...

To the One...

Who grabbed my hand during our first date and still holds my hand today

Who makes me laugh everyday, competes with me in silly games and dances with me in the kitchen.

Who let me get a dog and loved him and cleaned up after him.

Who has always romanced me, swept me off my feet and made me feel like a bride should.

Who still makes me swoon...seriously, ladies: HE'S TAKEN! : )

Who jumped into fatherhood with graceful determination and has loved our kids in ways I'm sure even he didn't expect to.

Who I rush home to, want to run away with and can call my best friend.

Who has always provided for us and worked harder than anyone I know even through long days/nights of making that happen.

Who takes care of me and has put up with all my pregnancy woes....and somehow still making me think I look pretty despite my swollen feet.

To the One who helps me live my dreams, puts up with my mess, gently leads me back to the truth, rubs my feet almost everyday, and loves me with a love I can't exactly put into words....

Happy Birthday, dear Love.

Thank you for the last five years of being the most blessed woman on this planet.

I know this is going to be a great year.