I hate drama.
It's insane how much drama actually exists in this "drama haters" life.
Most of it stems from my three year old, girl! She is a just a little ball of glee, giggles and sass.
Yesterday we were at Walmart and it was getting tense. Baby had been fussing gradually a little worse each aisle. I was making pretty good time, but was pushing our school pick up time for brother. As we turned the last aisle, all chaos broke loose. Evy had been crawling all over the cart and I had asked her a few times to stop. Just as we turned from the peanut butter out into the very front of the store where the fruit and flowers were, my daughter screams out in shear agony. I immediately stop and pull her from the fetal position on the floor trying to see what happened. She was seriously screaming like someone was stabbing her. I finally got a look at the wound and it did look painful. Like a cuss word painful, however I'm sure most women going through natural labor of their 30lb baby wouldn't have screamed as she did. So I picked her up and wondered away from all the probing eyes. I was carrying her and pushing Liv in the cart as I tried to grab the few fruits I needed. It was not getting any better and I decided...whatever else I needed would have to wait...we had to get out of there QUICK!
I tried to find the shortest line I could. Ugh...that is like finding a Unicorn in your Monday morning cereal. So she is still screaming...beside me now as I literally could not hold her any more and push the cart. I had tried everything to get her to feel a little better and lets be honest, to STOP screaming. Nothing was working so my best bet was to hurry as quick as I can. Thankfully, I did see a friend who tried her best to distract Evy and keep Liv happy. After I had finally put all 1000 items onto the belt, the lady said "Oh no, it's not working." So I was having to push all the items up for her, while trying to appease the screaming beast, get out my wallet to pay, put grocery sacks in the back of the empty cart and keep Liv from pulling her socks off again. I walked out of the Walmart, pushing a cart of groceries and pulling one with a screaming 3 year old and a baby happily waving at everyone....I walked out with my head held high. I was not allowing the drama to stop me.
However, after getting everyone in the car and all the heavy sacks, I sat in my seat kind of slumped realizing I had only five minutes to get into the car rider line. Evy stopped screaming and crying as we pulled out of the parking lot just in time for me to start.
Not screaming, but brimming with tears. Because as high as I could keep my chin leaving the store with all the stares and snickers...it really did bother me. It totally shakes my pride. No matter how much I try or want to....I CANNOT control my children's moods or actions. I do not want to care what others think and generally I would say I pretty much don't care. But there is nothing like a melt down right in the middle of a Walmart crowd to remind you maybe just a little it does bother you what others think. I was served up a piece of humble pie by my 3 year old that day. It was as if I was reminded how much I need to find my affections, worth and joy in the Lord. He has given me the this little being not to control or to make into a little Thompson drone, but to help mold and shape her into what He has for her. She is gifted in so many ways, very strong and has a lot of emotions running through that little heart of hers. I'm sure we will have more drama to come...especially, since we have TWO girls. I'll get through it....
at least, she is cute!
