Monday, October 17, 2011


That was what I felt like doing last week. I wanna say it was Thursday that I reached my breaking point. I had dealt with the same old behavior issues all week long. It seemed like I was instructing and teaching the walls instead of my young, impressionable children. I was and still am dealing with a yucky cold which means I cannot breath...which means I cannot sleep. I hadn't slept good since last Thursday night (the 6th). Obviously, I was extra tired, cranky and emotional.

My poor husband came home to one done woman. Actually on the way home I was talking to him (crying) telling him I was done and quitting. I wasn't really sure what that meant regarding parenting or what that would look like. I especially felt super insecure about taking care of another child, a newborn at that. But this baby is coming and I figured there was no turning back now. So I mainly let the (fabulous, wonderful, I don't know how I'd do it without him) MAN take care of the children for the rest of the night and I just rested.

These feelings of failure carried with me and my sin of relying on my own strength hung around with me for the next several days (as well did these same behaviors from my darlings). We did end up having a great weekend, but I thought it was only because Daddy was home with us all day. It wasn't only till Sunday that I finally realized what I was doing and brought it to the Lord.

I'm so thankful for our church and that they preach God's WORD! Our Evangelism Pastor, Wes preached on Quitting. Not JOKING! It was one of those sermons you know was made just for you. He preached from Hebrews 12 and it was one of those scriptures I've known most of my life. But I NEEDED to hear it in a fresh light.

{Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.}
(Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)

Everything we endure trusting Christ is bringing us closer to Him and His will for our lives. One day twenty years from now, I may not remember the daily struggles with my small children. I can only hope I'll be able to look back and see how God designed their journey to a saving, meaningful relationship with Him. And I need to remind myself of the long term goals of parenting and that I do not have to do it on my life. I have a God who "endured the cross" so that I would not have to live this life on my own.

So if you hear me wanting to quit or acting like I'm in this by myself again, please remind me these truths. I'm sure it will happen many many many more times and for different reasons. For now, it's preschool/toddler woes, but one day it might be bigger much more scarier parenting battles. I just need to keep running, enduring the everyday trials and keep my eye on the one who redeemed my life. Then hopefully, my moments and my days will flow in ceaseless praise.

So if you've been going through some trial or are carrying a burden, DON'T GIVE UP! There is always hope in the one who endured it all for us to have LIFE!

We sang this during our invitational time and it was such the echoed prayers of what my heart was feeling. I am God's, set apart for Him. Now let's live (and parent) like it.

Take My Life (I Am Yours)

Michael Neale, Francis R. Havergal

Verse One

Take my life and let it be

Consecrated Lord to Thee

Take my moments and my days

Let them flow in ceaseless praise

Let them flow in ceaseless praise

Verse Two

Take my hands and let them move

At the impulse of Thy love

Take my feet and let them be

Swift and beautiful for Thee

Swift and beautiful for Thee


I am Yours, set apart for You

I am Yours, hungry for Your truth

Take my life, You are all I live for

I am Yours

Verse Three

Take my voice and let me sing

Always only for my King

Take my lips and let them be

Filled with messages from Thee

Filled with messages from Thee


Verse Four

Take my will and make it Thine

It shall be no longer mine

Take my heart it is Thine own

It shall be Thy royal throne

It shall be Thy royal throne

Chorus, Chorus


I am Yours

I am Yours


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