All of ME

I had a {blog}friend write a post about her son who had to have heart surgery just days after his birth and how she could relate to Matt Hammit's song All of Me. She is brilliant and I so wish we could be real life friends. : ) Here is her blog... The Stanley Clan. But personally, I feel like I can relate so much to this song too. My children do not have heart conditions like my friend or Matt Hammitt's son, but I can't hear the song without thinking of our first two children.

Most of you know we've had our kids for a year and a half through the foster system. We are still in the LONG process of adopting them and have continued to be disappointed by that hopeful date being pushed back. Everything (thank the Lord) is still looking hopeful for us to adopt, it's just taking longer than we first thought. Along the way I have been told such things as "You guys are so wonderful to do this. I couldn't do it." or asking us "How we can do this not knowing what the future holds?"

Well, all I do know is that it is only by the grace of God that we are on this journey. It isn't easy, I do worry and I'm not at all wonderful. But on the other hand I do know that God gave me these children just as He has given us Livingston through my pregnancy. Children are a gift and belong to the Lord no matter how they come to us. So I have to tell myself all the time that I cannot be sure of the future of any of my children...Livingston or our first two. I can trust the one who has given them to us and know that He loves them more than I could ever imagine loving them.

When you read through these lyrics you can see how it might be tempting to not let our hearts open fully to any of our children/family depending on different circumstances. But the truth is if we want the best for ourselves and our children, we have to give all of ourselves. I pray that no matter the future of any of my children, that they know they were loved by every part of my being.

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/matt-hammitt-lyrics/all-of-me-lyrics.html ]

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start