Drama Mama

I hate drama. 

It's insane how much drama actually exists in this "drama haters" life.

Most of it stems from my three year old, girl!  She is a just a little ball of glee, giggles and sass.

Yesterday we were at Walmart and it was getting tense.  Baby had been fussing gradually a little worse each aisle. I was making pretty good time, but was pushing our school pick up time for brother.  As we turned the last aisle, all chaos broke loose. Evy had been crawling all over the cart and I had asked her a few times to stop.  Just as we turned from the peanut butter out into the very front of the store where the fruit and flowers were, my daughter screams out in shear agony. I immediately stop and pull her from the fetal position on the floor trying to see what happened.  She was seriously screaming like someone was stabbing her.  I finally got a look at the wound and it did look painful. Like a cuss word painful, however I'm sure most women going through natural labor of their 30lb baby wouldn't have screamed as she did. So I picked her up and wondered away from all the probing eyes. I was carrying her and pushing Liv in the cart as I tried to grab the few fruits I needed.  It was not getting any better and I decided...whatever else I needed would have to wait...we had to get out of there QUICK! 

I tried to find the shortest line I could. Ugh...that is like finding a Unicorn in your Monday morning cereal. So she is still screaming...beside me now as I literally could not hold her any more and push the cart. I had tried everything to get her to feel a little better and lets be honest, to STOP screaming. Nothing was working so my best bet was to hurry as quick as I can.  Thankfully, I did see a friend who tried her best to distract Evy and keep Liv happy.  After I had finally put all 1000 items onto the belt, the lady said "Oh no, it's not working."  So I was having to push all the items up for her, while trying to appease the screaming beast, get out my wallet to pay, put grocery sacks in the back of the empty cart and keep Liv from pulling her socks off again.  I walked out of the Walmart, pushing a cart of groceries and pulling one with a screaming 3 year old and a baby happily waving at everyone....I walked out with my head held high.  I was not allowing the drama to stop me.

However, after getting everyone in the car and all the heavy sacks, I sat in my seat kind of slumped realizing I had only five minutes to get into the car rider line.  Evy stopped screaming and crying as we pulled out of the parking lot just in time for me to start. 

Not screaming, but brimming with tears. Because as high as I could keep my chin leaving the store with all the stares and snickers...it really did bother me. It totally shakes my pride. No matter how much I try or want to....I CANNOT control my children's moods or actions. I do not want to care what others think and generally I would say I pretty much don't care. But there is nothing like a melt down right in the middle of a Walmart crowd to remind you maybe just a little it does bother you what others think.  I was served up a piece of humble pie by my 3 year old that day. It was as if I was reminded how much I need to find my affections, worth and joy in the Lord.  He has given me the this little being not to control or to make into a little Thompson drone, but to help mold and shape her into what He has for her.  She is gifted in so many ways, very strong and has a lot of emotions running through that little heart of hers.  I'm sure we will have more drama to come...especially, since we have TWO girls. I'll get through it....

at least, she is cute!

Just a few tidbits about me...

I find great pleasure in playing What is that Word game simply because it tells me things like I'm a hero, legendary and how awesome I am when I complete a puzzle.

Lately, I seem to have developed a strong addiction to T.G.I.Friday's pretzels and beer cheese dip.

I have never had any desire to make my own laundry detergent, cleaning supplies or dishwasher tablets....call me lazy, but just not going to take the time to go by those random ingredients and then made the stuff.

Sometimes I play Spa with Evy just so she'll rub lotion on my feet, hands or arms.

I may or may not have came upstairs to get something the other day while the girls were watching tv (baby in the exersaucer) only find myself 15 min. later reading a book under the covers in my bed.  Hmm... if I did do that, I might have just struck Mommy Insanity Magic Potion.

Someone should give me an award for how amazingly I can pull off looking like I'm dressed for the day above the waist while dropping my kindergartner off to school  when all actuality...I'm still wearing my pajamas with a cardigan over them : )

I often find myself day dreaming of how I would have rewritten the season 3 finale to Downton Abbey.  Everyone would love me for it.

I couldn't fight the tears back in reading this post tonight...READ IT.  Let's pray for answers for these hard questions and for more opportunities like this one.

Since I've been sick, I've come to love my husband's side of the bed (the side closest to the bathroom).  I wonder if he'll switch with me for good.

anyways, that's randomly me.

Lately, as in most of this year...we've been sick.

Like at least one person every week has had some ailment. 

I'm tired of it.

I'm SOOOO OVER it!

So today during this long deserved, quiet nap time...I'm ignoring it.

I'm remembering one of the happier afternoons we've had.  

Crafting and painting. 

awww....bliss!

 My children beg for me to do "art time" with them.

Sometimes, as much as I love it too...I don't have the time (mainly for the clean up).

 But on the this cloudy winter, afternoon...I rolled out the craft paper and let them go to town.

 I had some wooden hearts that I'd never finished long ago.

I let them re do them. 

 They had way more fun than it looks here. 

 I love how they look nothing like Valentines day...I might even find a spot to put them up all year long. Maybe add their birth dates and weight.

 I like to see where their minds and imaginations take them. 

Unlock the stories and dreams they've been having.

It's good to remember how important those are to them even at the ages they are now.

 I want to nurture their creativity.

 Challenge them to dream.

 Not to forget what incredible things that lay ahead for them.

 I of course, did a little crafting myself. I had a few projects I'd been storing up. 

That is what sometimes pushes me over the edge to say yes to "art time".

 I can't help it...I'm a little selfish like that.

Paint squirted everywhere and brush to form something that only existed in my mind before....that my friends is therapy to me.

and it's cheaper : )

 Even little Miss Liv got in on the action!

Photo Credit: Leland, 6 yrs.

 She is like, what is my Mom thinking...giving me a brush with paint on it.  She's crazy!  

Why, yes, Liv...I am! 

 So if you are like me and a little a paint mess doesn't bother you and you are tired of the winter blahs...

break out the crafting supplies.  Then let your mind run free and CREATE something!

but just remember you'll have to clean up afterwards.

: )

Livingston Ann...a whole year

Here she is from our wee babe to our beautiful one year old.

Praising God for her today!

Happiest Birthday, my sweet one.

 

 

 

Linking up for cool photo ideas with Kelly's Korner.

In case I forget...

Livingston,

It's the eve of your first birthday.  Even as I write those words, I simply cannot believe it to be true.  What can I say my babe, this year has truly flown.  It's like waiting for Christmas to come and so quickly it's over.  Not that you are over, but I know how quickly your childhood will be.  I wanted you so badly.  I longed over wanting a child and praying for God to start our family.  He did that with your brother and sister just a year and a half before you came.  I'm so grateful for them and the gift our Lord has given us through adoption.  Their way of entering our family is just as sweet as yours.  They fulfilled my desire to be a mother and you were like the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. I remember asking the Lord even after we had our two children for me to become pregnant.  I so wanted to feel what that was like.  To know the beauty of Him creating life right inside of me.  To feel you kick and move.  To experience birth and the miracle that is life.  I wanted to know what it was like when my first two came into this world.  You gave me that and so much more.  I remember feeling unsure about being a mother to three.  My baby was just two. How would she handle it?  Could I deal with the pressures of meeting three little humans needs.  And then of course, my biggest fear was would I feel differently about them after you came.  And I did.  Just not in the way I feared.  I think you completed so much of what I didn't know about motherhood.  The fears of maybe I'm not truly loving them as a mother should?  Maybe they do not have my heart as if they came from my womb.  I was so wrong. You gave me a chance to see that motherhood isn't just blood. It's about seeing a sweet, helpless babe and knowing that I can love him/her into what God has for him/her.  So thank you for making my dreams come true and for assuring me that my motherly affection is not based on DNA.  All those months we watched you be woven in my womb and see you stretch my abdomen. I remember the shock when my doctor had me wheeled to the hospital from her office at my 37 week appointment because of suddenly high blood pressure.  We thought we'd never make it through the day and night of waiting for you to make your appearance. I cringe at the memory of them starting my c-section because I was so afraid.  And then everything stopped. Every moment of that long sickly pregnancy was worth it. All the prayers for me to bare a child had been answered.  Our families third born came into fruition. I saw you. Pink. Loud. Breathtaking. You were so tiny and I'll never forget how your little frame rested on my chest when I first held you.  Or the way you had your Daddy completely spellbound.  I was worried for nothing about how your siblings would welcome your arrival.  They were totally, head over heels in love.  I love to see how you've changed our family dynamic and added so much joy to our home.  Though these 12 months have flown by, it seems you've always been here. We are thankful to the Lord for your sweet, easy going spirit.  You crack us up daily with your scrunchy nose smiles and new sound effects.  Observing others is definitely your favorite past time and of course following after our new pet bunny across the living room floor.  I'm sure there is no greater gift of my motherhood, than to see all three of you playing or laughing together.  Every dream and prayer...God has given me sevenfold with you three. My heart cannot contain the bittersweet joy it is to usher you into this next chapter of life.  To see you grow into more of who God intends for you to be.  Tonight as I put you to bed, I swayed gently beside your crib with your head laying on my chest. I sang you a few songs and breathed in your baby smell.  I know this is fleeting and please know that I am anxious to see you grow.  But just for tonight, I want to keep you as my baby.  Tomorrow, dear, tomorrow you can be one.

Love always, Mama

Not us.

I absolutely love Saturday mornings.  It's just such a nice, wind down time for us.  A time to just be a family. No work (mostly, occasionally I will have a photo session). Big breakfasts and a little sleeping in.  Really, that's all this mama needs to feel more like herself.  I think that is what my kids need too.
This week we just weren't us. Everyone was in a funk.  Me included.  We weren't gelling. Liv is teething. Evy had belly issues. Leland was grumpy everyday after school. It was hard.  There were tears. Some yelling. Lots of disappointing moments.

But nothing a little Saturday morning couldn't fix. I feel like the mercies are extra new on Saturday mornings. Daddy's presence and a fresh day with not much to do. A big pile of scrambled eggs, hot blueberry muffins and a pj clad bunch all with smiles. I woke up feeling refreshed and happy to face the day.  I even had a few creative thoughts swirling through my head. That does not reflect how I felt most of this past week. Some weeks are just tough. No one has perfect days and especially perfect lives.  So take heart. Whatever you are facing, you most likely are not alone.  And most everything looks better on Saturday mornings. : )  Unless, whatever you are facing is happening on a Saturday morning.  Anyways, for us this is just what we needed.

My head is swirling with lots of thoughts. Here are some.

1. My house looks like this. 

2.  I'm going to try out this recipe.

3. This baby is trying to devastate me by turning one.

4. I'm going loco stressing over houses to buy and wondering if this one will ever actually sell. This one from bhg.com will do lovely thank you.

5. The Man took me to see this movie for Valentines Day.  It was just what I wanted no gifts, no fuss...just a casual night seeing a chick flick.

6. I'm kind of obsessing over this company and a necklace I want.

You can build your own! They have bags too. 

My Funny Valentines....

 Livingston Ann, Happiest Valentines Day!

You are a silly and sweet baby. That scrunchy nose and funny little laugh can make us crack up. We hope that God continues to grow you with that same sweet, laid back spirit (except when you are cutting molars...poor thing).

 Evy, I love that you love to celebrate ANYTHING.  You kept asking all day when we were going to start out celepration!?!?!  Ha!  I don't think I'll ever stop cracking up at you and you always keep us wondering what will come out of your mouth next. I know wherever God takes you...you will make it a joyful journey!

 Leland, my goofy little guy. I cannot believe this is our third Valentines Day together. You came home from school talking about marrying this little girl in your class.  I'm soo not ready for this part of being your mother.  So slow your role...okay?  But seriously, I love how you enjoy every bit of life.  I can't wait to see how God is going to use your extravert, never met a stranger and happy go lucky attitude. 

Happy Valentines to my littles!

Also a BIG HIGH FIVE to my MAN for being such a rock star.  He is always helpful, loving and attentive.  But tonight he gave me just what I wanted...a low key, low budget (we had gift cards) and casual night to go see a chick flick.  Just what I needed.  Love you, babe!