Thursday, February 3, 2011

Living Silver Lining to Silver Lining

So yeah, this pain in my #&% is really getting on my nerves. And I'm just trying to use foul language with you guys, it really is the location of my pain. That, my hip, and shooting down my leg *except for my numb foot. This trial, along with the renovations and the dog have almost sent me over the edge. I struggle to stand up straight sometimes and having a hard time sleeping, When I first found out about my herniated disc 5 yrs. ago...I was single with no children to take care of. Now things are very different and it's been difficult adjusting life to make everything work. The kids have been great about helping and The Man oh my word should get husband of the YEAR!

But I think what has been most difficult is dealing with something like this at 29 (I'm milking 29 for all it has...April is approaching too quickly carrying the BIG 3-0 with it). I look around at other people my age....most aren't experiencing back pain. It's people in their 50's or 60's. When googling my MRI results, I found an article describing that this normally is seen in your sixth or seventh decade. WHAT? How can I've skipped four decades of physical enjoyment! I was watching the kids show off their somersault skills to us tonight. side note:I love that when you become a parent that the simplest tasks become amazing to you where you are positive they are accomplishing such BIG tasks for such young children. I might have been dreaming about being at the 2020 Olympics ceremonies seeing one of our gymnasts being adorned the GOLD medal! Anyways, back to my stinkin pain.... As I watched them roll around on the rug, I began to wonder how much will it take for their little bodies to one day be waring out on them. Should this change my mind in letting L play football? Or stop N from following in my gymnastic/cheer background? But then I guess not. What is living if you don't really live. If you don't strive for something you love, believe in and belong to.

It also made me think of how we take for granted our healthy strong, young bodies. I said this five years ago, but hopefully it will stick this time if God-willing I'm freed from this annoying injury. Every time I jump up and down excitedly, swoop up a little one toddling by, ride a bike (which I need to do more of), have dance parties in our living room, bend over for 20 min. cleaning the tub, carrying in all of the groceries in 2 trips instead of 4, going all day instead of having to rest every half hour.... When I do those things (God-Willing) in the future, I'm going to momentarily PRAISE THE LORD. Because if one little disc can move slightly out of place to cause such upheaval in ones life, than think of how gloriously God made our bodies.

Anyways, Hopefully this will bring joyful thankfulness to those of you whom are healthy and help those of you who are not feel like their is someone else going through it too. I know Jesus faced every type of struggle and temptation so He knows what I (we) are going through. I'm trusting in Him to give me the strength to make it to my surgery and to help me be praising Him throughout these next weeks! I do however get these times of semi-ok pain. I call them my silver linings. I'm having one tonight...let's pray it lasts through the night onto my work day tomorrow! : )

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin." Hebrews 4:15

Day 34: Em and N pretending to have a sleep over this morning. This is N's toddler bed that Scott's sis gave us. PRAISE GOD for family (and friends) and all they've helped us out with over the past 7 months. I've threatened to keep her in her crib until she's five : ) It's just so nice knowing that when I put her in there, I can come back hours later and she is still there. At this age, that is a miracle! So we put up the toddler bed just so she can get used to it. Maybe we'll start her on naps there in a few months (or years). : )


sarahe said...

praying thhat this heals soon! and i understand the frustration & discouragement of dealing with "old people issues" at such a young age. hopefully both of us will be healed at some point!

SECPumpkin said...

thanks for the encouragement Sarah. I know you've struggled as well and I'm praying for you too! How is your mom?

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