What a difference a year makes.

Almost a year ago this picture was taken.

 I was eight months pregnant.

I was so unsure of being a Mommy to three and wondering what she was going to be like.

 The other day I realized I was wearing the same sweater and remembered those photos.  I just had to take a current one.

Being a mama of three is challenging, but I love every minute. And that little babe that grew in my tummy for all those months, she's precious. I cannot believe she'll be a year in less than a month. She's funny, independent and very sweet. 

I'm linking up with Emily at The Anderson Crew for Embracing the Camera.

Glimpse of Forever

Just like the sun lights up the moon

This love is a reflection

Of more than just me and you

Our lives were less than ordinary

And while I couldn't see past tomorrow

God was making history

I know one thing for certain in this life...I'm a better person because of the love, service and sacrifice of Scott.  I occasionally label him "the man" on here because he is just that.  I've been on the listening side of women that are unhappy or feel unnoticed by their own husbands. It makes me shudder to think how often I take his care and attention for granted. I remember when we got married, wondering when that moment would come where we'd stop feeling like just boyfriend/girlfriend and really feel like family. You know that bond that accepts you being yourself. It's the kind of comfort and assurance of forever. It's funny because that is exactly how I feel about Scott and I cannot pinpoint looking back when it switched.  He is my constant.  He understands my mood with a flash of my eyes. He is the one whom I can laugh the greatest with.  He grounds me, challenges me and points me to the Lord. He takes care of me and guards our family with great vigilance. I'm grateful for this union, friendship and the covenant he joined in with me almost 5 years ago.  I know I don't do justice to him and rarely repay his service with the same attitude. I cannot imagine that I made it for 27 years without him and thankful for Lord willing the many more will get to spend together.  Isn't that the beauty of marriage... in all His kindness...He gave us this gift to reflect something greater. As good as my marriage is, it's pale in comparison to the one we await when our Bridegroom chooses to come for His bride. (Rev. 21:1-2)

So thank you Scott for being soo much to me, to our children. Your love is just a reflection.

Happiest Birthday and here is to many joyful years ahead. I love you.

oh and please check out Mandi Mapes song Story of Love. I'm kind of obsessed with her most recently as you can probably tell. : )

more than a SPRINKLE of love

We decided to throw my sister a little Sprinkle to celebrate her third baby. 

A girl.

Maggie Ann.

 I thought this sweet little cake turned out well.

 We held it in a back room of a local restaurant, Colby's.

So I only decorated one small table.

 I made sure it was ultra girly!!!

 My gorg pregnant sister.

 She got some great special things for her newest babe.

 It was really intimate and we had lots of great conversation.

 socializing at these events has to be my favorite part!

 I got my sweet nieces matching bibs...remember my sister has a 1 year old girl too. : )

 CAKE!

 Mother and Daughter

She knows how to take care of two little thirteen months apart....my sis and me.

I know these little girls will share a special bond just like we do.

 Love this little fella...the only boy at the party.  He got to flirt with all of us and he wooed us with his smiles.  I mean look how precious he is!!!

 the Brown side ladies

 Sisters

This last pic is just a shot of details...my fav things...lace, cute clothes pins, bakers twine and doily.

this love is the deep kind

 I can't believe it. Here I am, sitting on the other side of the wait. I waited for children for a couple years before. Then God led us to foster/adopt and we were blessed with two gorgeous children. I waited for 2 1/2 years for them to be ours. It was such a hard and long road.  Adoption is beautiful, but it's painful too.  I think Russell Moore was the one who said that "you have to remember that adoption always comes from loss."  Though the road was a hard one, I'd never go back to change it.  I'll be honest that there were moments during the frustrating behavior issues, massive bureaucratic red tape and the moments of emotional toll of loving children who have lost so much that I wanted to give up. I'm so glad I didn't. 

 This picture was taken on my first Mothers Day. 

I can't tell you the pride and joy I felt the entire day. 

This was worth the wait.

Because the nature of adopting through the foster system, we weren't allowed to publicly share pictures for the first 2 1/2 years.  I wanted to go back and share some of the beginning of us on this journey. 

We got the kids for trial overnight before actually accepting the placement. I knew that no matter what, these kids were meant to be with us for whatever time God allowed us to have them. I took off work that day to go pick them up at McD's from their previous foster mother. I spent the day with them and was just loving life. Scott got home just in time for me to leave to a training that I just couldn't miss at work.  My sister came to help him and she snapped these pictures of their first night with us. 

 This has to be my favorite picture. It so accurately describes our lives for those first few months.

Exhausted.

(apparently, in this picture...our sweet girl would not go to sleep and fought hard)

I cannot believe my baby was this little once. I still grieve the time I missed with him as a baby and most of his toddler years. He came to us at 3 1/2 and I often wonder what he looked like as a babe.

I try to not dwell on this, but think of all the days and moments we've had. And then all the ones ahead of us.

I'm pretty much in love with Mandi Mapes and several of her songs.  I just can't help but tear up every time I hear this one. People ask me often sense the birth of our third child, is it different. They want to know if I feel the same for all three of my children. The answer is no. I love and  connect with each of them in different ways. Honestly, I worried how I would feel while I was    pregnant. But once she came, I knew that they all share a piece of my heart.  

The biggest way to understand the love of an adoptive parent is to look at God. He loved us and choose us to be apart of His family. We were dirty, troubled and alone. Because of His great      love for us and the work accomplished by His Son at the cross, we were rescued. We are          co-heirs with Christ...adopted. 

Knowing this is what confirmed my calling long through the messy roles to figure out, the fearful nights of waiting and through my most trying moments as a mother. He did not leave me. EVER. I was HIS.  and just like that...They were MINE.

Below is a gruesome amount of pictures of babes that I've never been able to share. Enjoy and  really read the lyrics. They describe so much of the beauty of adoption.

I’ve never felt this way before
funny how you found you’re way to my door

and suddenly my prayers are coming true

and these arms are not letting go of you

this love this love is the deep kind 

you’re my baby, you’re my sunshine
and I’ll love you all of the time
I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan

our eyes are not quite the same shade

and your hair blows in the wind a different way 

but I am your mother and 
I love you just the same 
so I’ll take your hand honey 

and you can take my name

my heart has been redeemed,adopted 

and now I know my Father

this grace that I’ve received 
I want to show you
I want to show you

this love this love is the deep kind

it hangs on through the storm and the sunshine

I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fanand I’ll love you all of the time

© 2010 Mandi Mapes

 this love is the deep kind