Let me hold on longer...

I can't believe our baby is TWO. It just feels crazy that she is talking, playing babies, eating all by her self, starting to go potty, counting and just being such a BIG girl.

About a month ago we went on a date night. Our sweet friend watched the kids and put them to bed. I hadn't felt good when we got home so after saying goodbye to our friend I went on upstairs. I asked Scott to check on the kids and put shut their doors. (we do at night)

Scott came upstairs kind of flustered and said he almost just freaked out. I said, "What's wrong?" He said when he checked on our baby girl, she wasn't in her crib. So he turned on the light to look better. She definitely wasn't in her crib, but he shortly found her stuck between several stuffed animals (think E.T. in the closet) on her toddler bed. Apparently, the kids told our friend that she slept in the bed not the crib.

It was such a funny feeling. We'd put the toddler bed up hoping to switch her over, but I was hesitant. She'd never tried to get out of her crib and I thought hey, why mess with a good thing. I was worried about her staying in bed or getting up in the middle of the night. But that first night, she did perfect. The next morning, she was still quiet so I peeked in her room and she was sitting on her bed playing with her dolls.

The next night putting her to bed in her BIG GIRL bed I felt a little wistful thinking about how this had all happen so quickly. It seemed like the last part of her being our baby. I just knew the next morning we'd wake up and have to be taking her to her first day of kindergarden. I teared up and rocked her before laying her in bed so that Scott could read to her.

I took this picture.

Then I couldn't help but think of this poem by Karen Kingsbury about our children's lasts.

I didn't document, take a moment to remember or actually even realized the night before was her last night in the baby crib. How many other lasts have gone by that I didn't even notice. Her last bottle, last night with the passy....I think I am READY for the last diaper! : )

This poem was written for a little boy with some specifics that might not be true to our own children, but I'm sure many of you will find it touch your heart.

Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts;
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.

The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip,
The last night when you woke up crying,
Needing to be walked,

When last you crawled up with your blanket
Wanting to be rocked.
The last time when you ran to me still small enough to hold
The last time when you said you’d marry me when you grew old.

Precious simple moments and bright flashes from your past
Would I have held on longer if I’d known they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park, your final midday nap
The last time when you wore your favorite faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League, last colored picture made.
I never said goodbye to all your yesterdays long past
So what about tomorrow? Will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog in that old backyard pond
The last that you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn
Silly, scattered moments and bright flashes from your past
I keep on taking pictures, never quite sure of your last.

The last time that I comb your hair or stop a pillow fight,
The last time that I tuck you in and pray with you at night.
The last time when we cuddled with a book just me and you,
The last time you jump in our bed and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson, the last vacation to the lake
Your last few weeks of middle school, last soccer goal you make.
I look ahead and dream of days that haven’t come to pass
But as I do I sometimes miss today’s sweet precious lasts.

The last time that I help you with a math or spelling test
The last time when I shout that “Yes! Your room is still a mess!”
The last time that you need me for a ride from here to there
The last time that you spend the night with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster, stealing precious days that pass
I want to hold on longer, want to recognize your lasts.
The last thing that you need my help with, details of a dance,
And the last time that you asked me for advice about romance.

The last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams
The last time that you wear a jersey for your high school team.
I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed seasons as they pass
If I could freeze the hands of time, I’d hold onto your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning, you’ll be going far away
College life will beckon in a brilliant sort of way
One last hug, one last goodbye, one quick and hurried kiss,
One last time to understand just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast our time together passed
So let me hold on longer, God, to every precious last.