Saturday, March 17, 2012

Marriage: Delight or Duty

Date Night

Two of the most beautiful words...EVER!
It was our first time out together since the baby was born.
We saw this movie...The Vow.
What a great movie to spark conversations and think through the realities of what we pledged to each other before God on our wedding day.

But it really got me thinking. I remember thinking marriage would be such a golden season of life, but learned from my friends who married first that was the farthest truth. It is definitely a blessing and gift from the Lord. But it was tough... they weren't always happy....they fought ....they didn't "complete each other" as we all hoped after watching Jerry McGuire
and most of all they didn't give up because it was tougher than they thought.

Thankfully, because of them, I went into marriage a little more wise. I knew it was going to be tough and that it was something we'd have to work on the rest of our lives. We would have to kindle the romance, talk through disagreements and forgive grievences.

So what I've realized over my few short years of marriage is that marriage is both delight and duty. It is our duty to cleave to one another as long as we both shall live. When we hit snags or struggle through certain seasons (for us transitioning into being married while parenting has been tough), and stick through it....we'll find delight.

Please know that I understand some marriages are faced with larger trials or more difficult circumstances than we've faced thus far. But I believe in God's Word and how He blesses marriage.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33

nations will see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory;
And you will be called by a new name
Which the mouth of the LORD will designate.

3You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

4It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,”
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”;
But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”
And your land, “Married”;
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married.

5For as a young man marries a virgin,
So your sons will marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:2-5

The biggest delight (though this is sometimes a hard concept to remember and even understand) is that marriage is an example of Christ and the church.
Our marriage can be a light to the world... to share His good news.

He delights in you and will rejoice over you.
What a God we have!
Here is the real couple with the actors who played them in the movie.
They are believers and had more of a spiritual focus on why they stuck through this tragic trial together.

You can read this article by Focus on the Family here. It talks about the real couple and how the movie was changed a bit from the reflection of this true story. They wrote a book and I would be interested in reading it. As Scott and I talked after the movie and tried to imagine one of us forgetting all we've had....I just couldn't wrap my head around it. The thing the hollywood movie missed is that this real life couple NEVER gave up. They did not divorce in real life and kept their vows through a very rough season.

I pray that God gives Scott and I the grace to sustain our marriage until death. That we would be protected from serious trials and that the ones we are dealt would only grow us stronger.

I do know something, dates like last night....
movies that make us talk about our lives and future...
yummy food over long conversations....
laughter that covers pent up frustrations....
hearing your husband tell you sweet nothings all night while holding your hand....

Thanks to my sis, bro-in-law and parents for making it possible for us sneak out for a bit!


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